god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
