its not stalking. its research.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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