I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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