She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize