She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize