How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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