i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize