Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
