yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
