but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
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Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
