I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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