didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
if only i could text you this smell
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
