I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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