Well apparently he's into motor boating.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize