You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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