There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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