that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Randomize
