my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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