drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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