my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
