is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
