"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
