Whod you bang
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
