oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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