is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
