we're blogging at a bar
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
