If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
