This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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