So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize