he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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