He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
