i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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