I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
