Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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