Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
