Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
