i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize