i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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