I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
