I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Everything about him screamed your future.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
