Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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