the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Your cock deserves a montage
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
