Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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