Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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