lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Randomize
