So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
