Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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