There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
