i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
