i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
