just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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