I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
