I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
