dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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