Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
