Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
