i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
