My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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