don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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