If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
