Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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