I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
