I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
