i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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