Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
