I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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