fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
