New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
