When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
