We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Randomize
