I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
