this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Randomize
