The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I will be naked everywhere
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
